All Of My Love, All Of MY Love.

I wrote this a few months ago...and was too chicken to post it for some reason. Bok Bok!

Maybe it was too personal? Maybe it struck up too many bad memories. Now I am saying....what 

the heck.

Have u seen the show "Married to Rock"? On E!?
Its my new favorite thing. I want to bleach my hair blonde again and wear 

a massive padded bra just to fit in with them. I can find myself an over the hill rocker! 

Right? This is LA. 

Anyway, one of the girls is basically experiencing exactly 
what I did with her boyfriend. He refuses to marry her. And is quite frankly 
pretty mean about it. He is even a jerk about attending other weddings w her. 

She's always a bridesmaid and never a bride and has to be supportive of her 

friends getting married and smile thru her tears. 

She tries oh so hard to be enthusiastic for them  and does a great job of it 
even tho she's clearly pretty heartbroken. 

It's a cheesy show but there was one very genuine, tender moment 
when she watched her friend's first dance with her new husband.

Her eyes were so sad. She was broken. I could relate completely. 

I've been there sweetie. Quite a few times in fact. 

Try being a bridesmaid and 

making a speech about 'true love' at your best friends wedding a few days after your own 

long awaited engagement was broken.  Hiding the broken promise from all of your 

friends during the weekend of festivites

and wearing your diamond ring just so as not to create a stir.

Mind you, you and your ex (a groomsman) were the ones who set up the bride and groom

3 years into your own relationship.

Yeah, that's a blow.

This chick is actually one of the women that's quite stunning. Blonde, tall and rock 'n 
roll but not over the top.  Modelesque actually. She could walk the VS runway in my opinion 

and this curt, rude, wrinkley snobby, jerk won't make her happy and just marry her.  

Fine, he doesn't belive in marriage but stop being a downright asshole about it.

She's absolutely the most beautiful creature that man will ever find and she's 
really good to him. He's irritable- watches soccer and ignores her....is he 
really that bad? Or is the reality tv world just making him out to be so crabby. 

Regardless, I had it that bad. I lived the reality of it. I kinda wish I had cameras following me. 

My agents would be happy- cuz I would be a reality star and then could actually get a Host job in this business.

It seems as though you need to be a train wreck on reality to tv to host anything anymore.

That's a whole other chapter.