Wednesday, March 23, 2011


YAY! I booked my very first Voice-over Job!
I am so excited about this new adventure and realm of show business. I am going for it full-throttle my friends.
I started small, booking a commercial and a show intro for a theme park in Malaysia but it can only get better from here.
So strange, I hosted a show called 'Hollywood Burn' a few years back and that was a massive hit online in the Philippines. They like me over there for some reason. 

Internet Presence=Employment

If one more person tells me I need to twat or get on Facebook I will kick them in the belly.
Recently I heard that I basically lost a job to a woman who has a better "online presence" than I do.  She has like a million followers so she is clearly more talented than I, right?!
Can someone please tell me how we got to a place where living your life on your portable device makes you more qualified for a job?
I have my face buried in my Blackberry most of my day answering emails, work and personal.  I have no desire to then add to that beloved b-berry face time social networking sites where I have to tell everyone I know, and don't fucking know at all, that I just picked up my dog's poo, bought a loaf of french bread or hate Chris Brown.
Am I a hypocrite because I am blogging right now?  This is much more cathartic for me than a short status update that's supposed to be witty and clever in 180 letters.
Maybe I am old fashioned and need to get with the times but I have a severe aversion to the very things that producers are saying I need to do in order to get a job as an anchor/host/correspondent these days. (The very things I have been working as  before FB was even invented)
Now you are no longer simply a host but the show's PR department as well.  They are too cheap to hire a publicist to get the word out about the show they need the talent to do the work.
My friends....what to do?
Do I get on my twitter and friend everyone I possibly can? Send totally insincere messages about how beautiful life is....and how the sky is blue, and how I knew all along that insane Charlie Sheen was?  It is really so self- indulgent that we actually think other people want to know what we think every second of the day. Oh wait.....they do.
It all boils down to the fact that we are all basically voyeurs. We are all cyber stalkers who don't want to admit it. There is no room for mystery anymore. No subtlety.
My problem is that I thrive in those worlds.  I find them much more attractive in many ways. Personally and professionally.

Not W i n n i n g.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tax time=Happy?

March rolls in like a lion and out like a lamb....
March is the month of my Birth.
I love the month of March.
Except for that fact that it means I have to do my dreaded taxes. I am very, very organized for a freelance stylist/actress/host/dancer..etc.
Still, every year the onset of panic starts around Feb 27th.

Most people don't really enjoy doing their taxes. I am sure there are exceptions to the rule....if you know anyone who loves it I would be curious what kool-aid they are drinking because I need some.

I, on the opposite side of the spectrum despise doing tax stuff. It is really not all that bad when all is said and done but while I am crunching numbers and unfolding 365 days worth of tiny, crushed up receipts that have been squashed at the bottom of my purse for 6 months it is pure Hades.  I hunker down for hours and sometimes days hiding behind a mound of paper and confusion.

My poor, poor accountant has dealt with me and my paranoid mania for many years.  This year he actually paid me a "compliment".  He said it seemed as though something was different. I wasn't wound as tight! So nice of him to notice.
I said.....well Mr. Reliable Audit Protector, "I didn't have the best year financially but on a personal level it was a damn good one."
 He responded with, "Well, Client that I usually dread sitting down with each and every year, you can't have everything."

He is 100% correct- not in a literal sense....on a larger scale I mean.  Looking back over the year, through all my disaster of chewing gum wadded torn up tiny receipts and 1099 forms I was fortunate to have worked at all. The money, as long as I was supporting myself was inconsequential because I was... happy.

Finally, truly, undeniably, beautifully, sincerely happy.

Happy is not always so attainable especially when things are tight on the fake Canal street Chanel wallet.
So 2010, thank you for being a great year....I was and still am, to say it simply, happy.

If it takes me going through the history of my life via small payments I made for anything and everything I needed for the year, to realize how great you were, then so be it.
So receipts, Thank you too.